Thoughts from The Townedger-June 2021

The Milkweeds are here and so are the Monarchs. 

It was 45 years ago that my first love, who lived in Michigan came down to visit her relatives.  It would be the last time that I would ever seen Jeanette again.   It was doomed to fail from the start, we were just kids with a kiddie crush on one another.  The year before, I went to Michigan and seen her and she had long dirty blond hair and she chased me around the yard.  Swore it was love, hell I was 14 years old, what did I know?  Her dad wouldn't let me take her up to the Dairy Queen for a ice cream cone. But he promised next year he would let us go there.  I never saw her again.  Later on, in high school I had a freshman girl, Janice chasing me around, I didn't acknowledged her till a dance one night, she wanted to dance, I said why not and grabbed her only to have her pull away.  We were never on the same page, wished I never met Janice. Her memory still haunts me 45 years onward. 

20 years ago, I met Isabella via a singles web site and went up to Seattle to see her.  The June get together was fine but the next time we met in October, she wasn't so nice.  She bought her bunny rabbit who kept peeing on the hotel pillows and she freaked out at a pizza joint about her methodrone being misplaced.  Dropped her off at her place and returned back to the airport only to have her tell the world I left her for another.  Called her bluff and then washed her out of my life.  She still might be on Facebook but me thinks that the real Isabella told her to use her own name instead of hers.  IT's odd, when I was up in Seattle twenty years ago, every day was nice and sunny and in the 70s.  I can't say if Isabella was a lost cause but she did cause some insult by using the real Isabella Rosselini's name.

I do love my visits to Seattle, but most of the records that I knew about back then are long gone. Especially Cellophane Square.  They were amazing to go to for used CDs, even found new ones used, namely the Jerry Butler Gamble-Huff Years.

Last weekend, after a hard spring processing, I went Kayaking with Julie and her friends.  And then what I thought was a relaxing time was anything but that to the others.  But it opened up a door to the past that has been hidden for many many years.

I have (AS) or Asperger's Syndrome, a disorder that causes me to not be very sociable and have a hard time talking to people, it probably shows in the blogs that I write that miss a few thoughts and things while writing.  I have had this for all my life and it took a friend of Julie to see the patterns.   But it always been there.  It was there when I dated Nicole years ago or Olivia or perhaps back then when Jeanette was around.  It was around when my good friend from Webster City Greg and I talked and he did all the talking. It was around in high school when the student council voted me and three other gifted guys Mr Irresistible and I wanted nothing to do with them.  But I was one of them. 

This may explain my stage fright, or on and off interests in playing in bands or doing anything with The Townedgers.   Or one week I can sit with my fellow musicians at a table and next week, I return back to sitting alone at a table.  Being a prisoner to myself, in a crowded room or bar I am still alone.  Or having depression was basically AS and I just didn't own up to it.  In fact I do a lot of denying it seems.

But now that I know I have this, I will have come to terms and take care of it to be a better person. Still, I remained hurt and still disappointed that my other half saying that time was torture.  Perhaps the next time, I will put on a life jacket since I am not that great of a swimmer. 

I still have to shake my head and smile about Kris' awkward look when I was playing the Cajole at the Norway bash last Saturday.   Each show, I decide on what to take for percussion and take notes.  In this case it would have worked better had they gone unplugged, but then again, they could have heard me, had their turned down the amps.  Oh, sweet youth, I was young once and went for loud and proud,, which in the end got me a blown eardrum and can't hear worth shit anymore.

Come next weekend, my former co conspirer, fan and one time friend and lover  Nicole will finally get married to a good guy that she's been with for almost six years.  Twenty years ago, we struck up a conversation at a meeting in St Louis in 2000 and nine years later begin a two and half year love affair that had its share of problems.    In all fairness, she remains a good friend and has a good heart but she never quite knew about my  Asperger's syndrome, she would have said I forgot to had a second S to that.   She supported the efforts of my solo work and The Townedgers, but I cheated her out of hearing me play at that time.  I still love her in my own way, but I think she did choose the right guy for her.

Rick Rystrom aka Rick Tron sent me a copy of some of our performances at the Waubeek Jam, a whopping 68 minutes of this!  I saw him at the Meinfield final gig at Checkers and he said he would send me a copy of the songs.  I asked him if Mak Dervo was thinking of starting up the F B Jam, and he said that Mak isn't too interested of doing it again.  They might do one more jam for old times sake and it will be history.  I rather not see it go myself, I had lots of fun during the 8 hour plus jams we had there, till they turned the lights off.  And they had to do that a few times, thanks to Mr. Kirksey. 

I'll be very busy next month with the Acoustic Adventures and Blues Rox and will continue to document the songs played and places I visited.  It's a hard habit to break.

Till Next  Time.